Soulja Boy- Crank That (Travis Barker Remix)

I actually think Travis Barker is a GIGANTIC tool, but this is pretty cool:

Bizzarebury

This interview with Stephon "Hope in My Truck" Marbury is just weird.

The Onion

I used to love picking up a copy of The Onion anytime I was down in Manhattan, and I am still a devoted fan of TheOnion.com. I am happy to say that after some tepid success when it first started, The Onion News Network (The Onion's fake news channel) has finally hit its stride.

In case you aren't "in the know", here are a few clips to get you hooked.

Should We Be Shaming Our Obese Children?

In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More?


Multiple Stab Wounds Bad for Monkey's Life

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

The Terror of Terrorist Ghosts

In The Know: War On Terror

Inappropriate Hugs Gives Back to the Children

We here at IH know that the children are our future, so with a little help from GI Joe, here are some tips for all you little rascals that read this website.

Hide and Seek....Not Suffocate and Die:


Don't Steal a Gay Sailor's Bicycle:


Don't Take Medicine Unless A Black Man in a 1930's Football Helmet Gives You the Green Light:


This one is only included because BBQ's accent was just ridiculous:

Chocolate Rain

If you watch more than 2 minutes of this video, you will be singing this song for the rest of the week. Guaranteed.

This might take awhile...

Fun stuff watching the Mets game last night...

I'm not a big Tom Glavine fan (years of him pitching for the Braves will do that), so I'm in no rush to see him get his 300th win.

Man he must be pissed this morning...

He only gave up two hits, the Mets missed many opportunities to break the game open, and he had to rely on the awful Guillermo Mota in the 8th to hold the lead.

He trotted his whole family out to freaking Milwaukee to see it...

And that's where the real highlights of the game were.

When SNY interviewed his foxy wife, she seemed like she was going to fall to pieces if he didn't get the win... And when the Mets blew the game in the 8th, she looked like someone whose kitten just got hit by a car. Funny stuff.

I will definitely be watching the next one in Chicago. I hate all the coverage about him and his quest for 300 wins, but I can tolerate it if I get to see him get shafted like that along with the numerous shots of his angry, sexy wife.

Here's the best I could do for a picture of his lovely second wife Christine:

If this keeps up, there will surely be more.

Also, it was kind of weird that the Milwaukee fans gave him a standing ovation when he came out of the game. I understand there's no bad blood between the Brewers and Glavine, but if I was on the Brewers I'd be a bit disappointed by my fans with that...

Maybe the Mets can pick up a dominant middle reliever so we won't have to worry about this next time? What's that, the trade deadline passed? Oh well. Maybe next year.

Curtain Call: Curtis Martin

When I heard that Curtis Martin was planning to officially announce his retirement, my first thought was, "No shit, you mean he's not gonna run around 350 lb motherfuckers with that bone on bone? Everyone knows he's not playing again. Is the announcement really necessary?"

Well, apparently it was for me.

As I see stories about his retirement and I hear ad-nauseam how he's 4th on the All-Time NFL Rushing List, I realize, as a Jets fan and a fan of the NFL, I should have been a bit more appreciative of him and his career.

I did the math in my head on what 4th on the All-Time Rushing list meant... Emmitt Smith of the Arizona Cardinals shamelessly broke Walter Payton's record, and Barry Sanders was nipping at Payton's record when he hung em' up, so that means Martin's behind those 3 guys. Really? That's pretty fucking incredible. I didn't feel like I was watching the 4th most successful rusher in NFL history. But I should have.


On top of being the team's all-time leading rusher, something that really puts what he's meant to the Jets franchise in perspective is all the way down at the bottom of his Wikipedia entry:

New York Jets Starting Running Back
1998-2005
Preceded by Adrian Murrell
Succeeded by Kevan Barlow

I would be remiss not to acknowledge his off the field triumphs as well. Curtis had a tough upbringing, but made it out as successfully as one could. In this day and age of self-promotion, commercialism and stupidity, Curtis kept a relatively low profile (outside of one awful McDonald's commercial with that whore Tiki). A true class act, in a time when they're so hard to find.

It's been tough being a Jets fan my whole life, but Curtis Martin surely made it a whole lot more respectable for almost a decade. His character and abilities will be missed.

Salute!

A Closer Look at Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! ...

I read this post about Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! from Little Brother rapper Phonte's blog and wanted to share it with the group here... Very funny stuff...

The game was developed by some Japanese guys, not whitey... so his theory can't be all true... Unless those Nintendo guys were just a front... Could be...

If you want to stroll down memory lane without digging out and blowin' the ol' NES game, you can play it here, courtesy of a link provided by Chase Utley's # 1 Grown Male-fan.

Movie Star Machine:

Check out the trailer. I found out last night that i was in this movie, and the trailer, and was invited to the premiere tonight, it won a Sundance!!!

Hockey Fights

With the coming out of the NHL schedule yesterday. I would like the world to start getting pumped up for hockey by paying tribute some of the best hockey fighters that have ever played in the NHL. It may be a lost art in this sport, but it will never be totally outlawed.

The best of all-time: Bob Probert


The Best Heavyweight Series: Bob Probert vs Tie Domi (9 fights total)


A close second: The Southpaw Dave Brown (Stu Grimson was a great fighter as well)


Today's Best Overall: George Laraque (Brute Strength)


The Best Knock Out Ever: Coltin Orr vs Todd Fedoruk


Best Goalie Fight: Dan Cloutier (The rookie Whoops Some Isle Ass)


A Close Second: Ray Emery vs the Buffalo Sabres (the whole team)

Rickey's gonna teach y'all how to hit now.

This is great news for the NY sports media...

Having Rickey as the batting instructor on this team with such frustrating hitting practices should provide much fodder. Good times are coming...

Hopefully we'll get some more John Olerud, "Used to play wit' a guy who wore a helmet in the field back in Toronto" type encounters... I love that one.

And any grown man who refers to themself in the third person is comedy gold...Good to hear Rick Down went out taking a shot at Ledee... Kudos for that.

Watch your back Julio Franco... Rickey's bout' to cop that roster spot.

In all seriousness... I like the change. This team's too damn complacent with their offensive struggles. And Rickey's a straight-shooter who likes to shake shit up nowadays. He did a great job working with Reyes... The players gotta listen to a guy with Rickey's credentials more than Rick who never made it passed AA ball. Hopefully that translates into better hitting.

Wait till 2011

Let's face it, the Knicks will probably never win a championship as long as Dolan is the owner. This is the same guy who hired Scott Layden and gave Don Chaney two contract extensions. Ohhh and I almost forgot to mention he gave Isiah Thomas a 5 year 30 million dollar extension.

This team is pretty much screwed. I really wasn't too happy with the Randolph trade because he is just another scorers who doesn't play defense or make his teamates any better. Wow, the Knicks gave up nothing but they didn't really gain anything either. The bar is set so low I guess that's why some people are happy with this trade but I'm not one of them.

I would love for the Knicks to dump Marbury but that will never happen because he makes as much money as Kobe Bryant. I really don't like Eddy Curry..........I hate this whole Fucking team. They are a complete mess and Isiah has no clue what he is doing. This jerkoff has ruined this team, and I think it is time we start thinking about becoming Brooklyn Net fans.

I have come up with a solution for the Knicks. Don't take on another contract longer then 3 years. The reason is simple. This is what the free agent class of 2011 looks like.

1 Bosh
2 Amare
3 Dirk
4 Lebron
5 Wade
6 Oden
7 Kobe
8 Parker

If Isiah doesn't make a move till then we will be under the cap bc every contract will be expired.
Lebron will be 26 then too.

For now let's trade Crawford and Nate for Battier.

Dice-K the Last of the Mohicans?

Where has the creativity gone? The fun? The popularity? It is true the nickname has fallen. With exception of Dice-K (I know I dogged his nickname on a past post, but that is not the point of this current post), the use of nicknames in professional Sports is at pandemic low levels. Could Dice-K be last sportsman to ever don a nickname? Nicknames are an integral part of the game and need to make a comeback in a strong way.
Here is the article from Newsweek on the issue:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19620053/site/newsweek/

Some of my favorites:
Everyday Eddie Guardado
Lou the Douche
The Machine
Hells Bells (Trevor Hoffman)
The Sultan of Swat (Babe Ruth)
Hammer'in Hank Aaron
Jolt'in Joe (DiMaggio)
The Great One (Wayne Gretzky)
The Messiah (Mark Messier)
Prime Time (Deion Sanders)
Oil Can (Dennis) Boyd
The Wizard of Oz (Ozzie Smith)
The Matrix (Shaun Marion)

Life After Mike

After my main man Mike Tyson was finally put out of his misery by that hasbeen from Ireland, a part of me was sad. We all grew up playing the video game and later on, watching the "Free Tyson" shirts in the Naughty by Nature videos. In the 90s after Mike got out of jail, everyone was curious to see if he could revert back to his old form. It took a bunch of ass beatings for everyone including Mike himself to realize he was done.

Now, boxing's biggest draw is De La Hoya, who is well past his prime and overrated. Boxing is also hurt by mixed martial arts mania which is fastly becoming the 3rd most watched sport in the country. I really don't understand why. These guys would get the shit beat out of them by any good prize fighter in boxing. A lot of mixed martial arts fans would retort by saying that the boxer would be grappled and wrestled to submission. From what I have seen a good boxer would knock these martial arts guys out before they were grappled.

There seems to be a consensus among boxing experts and journalists, that the current heavyweight champion is playing in the NFL or the NBA. The names in the heavyweight divison are names out of a Cold War espionage novel. Every contender seeming has left the former Soviet Union for the boxing riches in America. American athletes especially in the inner city want to chase the cash that the NFL and the NBA offer.

I put together a list of guys in boxing that are interesting and talented.

1. "Bad" Chad Dawson 24-0 beat the living shit out of Jesus Ruiz who is hard throwing light heavyweight. Dawson is a light heavyweight and is a guy who will rule this division.

2. Winky Wright this guy is one of the most underrated in his division. Look for him to school Bernard Hopkins in their upcoming bout.

3. Evander Holyfield. The guy is punch drunk and 44 years old but give him credit he won his last two fights and might get a shot at the title. And what's not to love about a guy who has more kids than Shawn Kemp.

4. Floyd Mayweather Jr. Pound for pound the best fighter in the sport. He is cocky and awesome. Plus he kicked the shit out of De La Hoya.

5. Miguel Cotto. The new hero of Puerto Rico replacing Trinidad. This guy might be the only middleweight to beat Mayweather Jr. He is quick,tough,and when he fights people they are never the same.

Beltran

He is an integral part of their success. I know he is an above average fielder, has decent speed, and is a decent bat for CF. But I am not a fan. It seems to me that everytime he comes up in a big spot he does nothing. You guys saw him light it up at philly but I still think he sucks. He is on my alltime hated list with the likes of:

1. Pat Ewing

2. John Franco

3. Armondo Benitez

4. Scott (the ass sniffer) Brosius

5. Robby Alomar

6. Clarence Weatherspoon

7. Antonio McDyess

8. Scott Layden

9. Steve Phillips

10.Howard Eisley

Feel free to add to the list.