Saturday, February 24, 2007

Daisuke (dice-k). Anatomy of a Nickname.

What is the deal with Daisuke Matsuzaka nickname. It is not very original. It is just the proper pronunciation of his first name. That is ridiculous. I mean, has even earned the major league right to use the letter K in his nickname. He has not even struck out one batter yet. Does he gamble a lot? Can somebody come up with a nickname for this guy. How about the Kamikaze Kid or the Bonsai Hurler. Even Dice man would be more appropriate I'll tell you one thing Dice-K does not stand up to Lou Da Douche or The Machine to any extent. Post any other nicknames you can come up with in the comments.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Britney Spears to Star in Goonies Remake

Remote Control Surfing

Love to surf but you hate the little rash you get on your nipples when the wetsuit rubs against them all day long? Have you always wanted to learn how to get out there in the ocean and to ride waves in all day long but are an apathetic lazy person?

Remote control surfing may be the thing for you....all of the fun of surfing and none of that pesky physical activity to get in the way.

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Beaver Spotted

Just saw this headline on the Yahoo! frontpage:
Beaver spotted in New York City for first time in 200 years

I thought, uh oh. Looks like Britney's left rehab again.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I'm a Fu*king Soldier......with a Boo Boo.

Everybody's least favorite tight end Kellen Winslow appears to be headed for another long recovery from microfracture surgery on his right knee.

I can honestly say that I don't usually get too annoyed with athletes when they make grandiose statements regarding the importance of their sport in the grand scheme of things. I understand that in many ways, sports have become one of the only things that truly unites broad sections of our society. Whether you are black, white, Asian, Hispanic or some other race that I can't think of, you are likely to be a fan of one of the major professional sports. So the importance of these sports, and the seriousness with which the athletes approach the games are something that I can usually respect. Like it or not, their actions will be remembered by fans like us for years to come, and it is easy to see how athletes and fans alike can get swept up into the heat of the moment.

But then Kellen Winslow Jr. made these stupid statements:

I always had a certain degree of contempt for the U, but this really let me know that some athletes just don't get it. (That is the University of Miami for all of you not in the know, but then again, I don't think people who aren't in the know tend to read brilliant blogs such as Inappropriate Hugs. I digress.) We want you to take your sports seriously, and we want you to represent your school and/or your city to its fullest, but please, you aren't a soldier, and despite what you say, a game is not war.

I'm not speaking from experience, as I have never served in the military, but I always thought that if I had ever served, Kellen Winslow would be the American I was least excited to be fighting for.

So I was morbidly happy when this fool broke his leg three games into his rookie season with the Browns. (As an aside, could you possibly think of a worse team to be a fan of than the Cleveland Browns? Ugly uniforms, your "real team" left you years ago to go to Baltimore, and for Chrissakes, you are living in Cleveland.)

I was even more delighted when he crashed his motorcycle in a parking lot in 2005, and required major surgery on his leg. I like to think that the doctor who was treating him was a former Marine, and made sure to use some dirty instruments to guarantee that Private Winslow got a staph infection that laid him up for an extra six weeks.

Now he is going to be on the shelf for about 4 months recovering from this most recent surgery. Karma really is giving this guy a beating over those dumb comments he made back in 2003.

The takeaway of all this? The only Winslow you should like is Carl Winslow:


Is it a coincidence or is the search over?

Maybe the Surround Sound System Was a Bit Much

Fellas, you need to use your discretion when you decide to blast the sounds of your favorite adult movie throughout your house. Why you ask?

Because a guy with a sword might come to do some investigating.

Something to ponder...

You know how men, usually allow woman off the elevator first, or open the door and allow woman to go first? Woman think it is because we are being gentemanly, but in actuality, little do they know we are just sick sexually deviant perverts, using our "gentlemaness" as an excuse to check out their asses! Young, old, fat, flat, whatever, we always gotta look...well at least I do. i a ma sick sick pervert, and i love it!

NBA Trade Deadline

An hour and 20mins left until the deadline. Will any moves be made? Kidd, Carter, Gasol, Bibby? who (if any of them) will be moved?

Trades so far today:

Mavs trade Anthony Johnson to the Hawks for a 2007 2nd round pick

Blazers send Juan Dixon to the Raptors for Fred Jones

I have a feeling this trade deadline will be another dud. (when was the last memorable one?)

Who gives a shit..

Egomaniac Curt Schilling announced he is filing for free agency... NEXT YEAR... Another attempt by "Red Light" Curt to get his name in the papers and keep Dice-K's out... what a douch.

Prince HArry Goin to Iraq---Finally a real man who should be on a throne!

LONDON (AP) -- Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, is getting his wish to serve in Iraq. The Ministry of Defense ended speculation that had been swirling for about a week by announcing Thursday the 22-year-old prince will be sent to Iraq with his Blues and Royals regiment in May or June. Harry, a second lieutenant, will assume a troop commander's role.
Prime Minister Tony Blair said Wednesday that British troop deployments will be cut by 1,600 in the coming months and that all bases except for Basra Palace and Basra Air Base will be handed over to Iraqi forces.
The narrowing of the British presence to the two locations in southern Iraq will mean any insurgent groups looking to target Troop Commander Wales -- as he is known to his colleagues -- will not have to look far to find him. That has led to some concern that his presence could bring an extra risk to his fellow soldiers.
He will lead a team of 12 men in four armored reconnaissance vehicles, and could become the first royal to see combat since his uncle Prince Andrew served in the Falklands war against Argentina in 1982.
The son of the late Princess Diana, Harry has been a frequent face on the front of Britain's tabloid newspapers, which have provided a constant stream of coverage of his party-going lifestyle at some of London's liveliest nightspots.
He has also acknowledged drinking before being of legal age and smoking marijuana. In January 2006, he issued an apology after being pictured in a newspaper at a costume party dressed as a Nazi, including a swastika armband.
But he has been serious about is joining ''my boys'' in Iraq. After graduating from Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst, he insisted on getting the opportunity to serve his country.
''There's no way I'm going to put myself through Sandhurst and then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country,'' he said in an interview to mark his 21st birthday. ''That may sound very patriotic, but it's true.''
The ministry has previously said that Harry could be kept out of situations where his presence could jeopardize his comrades.
Military experts were divided over whether Harry's presence would make the situation more dangerous for his comrades.
''I don't think your average fellow officer will care that much,'' said Amyas Godfrey, a military expert at the Royal United Services Institute, a London-based think tank. ''There needs to be more consideration with him because of the media interest, but it won't be a burden.''
But Michael Clarke, a professor of war studies at King's College University in London, said it was likely insurgent groups would be attracted to Harry's unit.
''In a sense, his celebrity might be a factor in making the security situation for his troop more dangerous,'' he said, though he added that banning Harry from going to Iraq would have done more harm than good.
''He would be appalled if his troop went to do something without his command and they would be too,'' Clarke said. ''If he didn't go, it would be very bad for the morale of the troop. It's like a family.''
In joining the military, Harry followed a royal tradition. His father, Prince Charles, was a pilot with the Royal Air Force and Royal Navy, and a ship commander, and Harry's grandfather, Prince Philip, had a distinguished career in the Royal Navy during World War II.
Prince Andrew was a Royal Navy pilot.

American Idol Idiot Whore Bag

So leave it to some Jersey Slutbag whore, too make it the finals on Idol and be caught literally with her pants down...There aare other pics of this whore every where on line ..Like i always say.." She;s Squattin!!!!" hahaha

Maybe the Knicks can make the Playoffs after all...

With Wade crying in a wheelchair and the Nets looking to trade Carter or Kidd and otherwise looking pretty uninspired, maybe Isiah will take the Knicks to the promised land in a miserable Eastern Conference. Which I guess will be considered a "success". Which I guess will mean he keeps his job. Which I guess will mean I won't be a fan again anytime soon. Ugh.

ARod Cracks Under Pressure...Pulls a Britney

My retired father drove all the way to Tampa last night from Boynton Beach, Florida so he could check out some of the Yankees spring training. He sent me this photo this morning, and frankly, I'm shocked. He said that ARod was wailing and crying, screaming, "Why won't Jeets love me? Why???!?! I try so hard, but he won't sleep over my house anymore!!!"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Booty Call Agreement : 4,000 Graphics and Pics
MyHotComments / HotFreeLayouts

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: 2 Clowns Shot in Colombian Circus

According to CNN, two clowns were shot in Colombia in front of a stunned audience on Wednesday night. Here is a link to the story.

Now, details are a bit murky, but early reports are that two suspects were seen fleeing the scene. Below is an EXCLUSIVE Inappropriate Hugs Photo of the crime that was taken by an eyewitness.

Remember, when these fiends are arrested, you saw their picture here first!!

Hitler & Jesus

The Fuhrer and the Son of God are back in this rollicking buddy comedy about self-discovery and redemption. Heil-arious!

Our Favorite Lunatic Athletes- Cole Ford

Thugs, murderers, wife beaters, drug traffickers, dog fight enthusiasts, strip club parking lot shooters.....the list can go on for days. In this series of posts, I hope to let you, our beloved readers, become acquainted with some of the more infamous members of the professional athlete community. The focus will be on lesser known players, as posts about OJ Simpson and Rae Carruth are probably not going to provide you with anything you don't already know.

So let me introduce you to Mr. Cole Ford, former kicker for the Oakland Raiders:

Ford graduated from the University of Southern California, and was drafted in the 7th Round of the 1995 NFL Draft by the Pittsburgh Steelers. He was later released and signed with the Raiders, who he stayed with for the balance of his NFL career. He went on to have a fairly decent rookie season, going 8 for 9 in field goal attempts and 17 of 18 in extra points in 1995. His second year was even better, playing in all 16 games, and connecting on 24 of 31 field goals and all 36 of his extra point tries.

Then the wheels came off. In his third season, Ford went a paltry 13 of 22 in his field goal attempts for the season, for an NFL low conversion percentage of 59.1%. He was released by the Raiders following this subpar season. (The Raiders beat the odds by later drafting Sebastian Jankikowski, but we can leave that until another day.)

After his release, Ford decided to take his life in a new direction, focusing less on kicking footballs through the uprights, and more on making sure that the world knew about the danger presented by these two men:

No, I didn't accidentally post Siegfried and Roy....they were the focus of Ford's delusional rage, brought on by his unmedicated descent into paranoid schizophreniza. On September 21, 2004, Ford pulled up in front of the home of the illusionists, and opened fire with his shotgun. The blasts caused a number of holes in the wall in front of the home, and shattered a number of windows. Nobody was injured, and apparently the attack tigers were too busy being hand massaged by Roy to be bothered with mauling Ford to death.

A manhunt ensued after witnesses provided the police with Ford's license plate number, and he was later arrested, but not after being profiled on America's Most Wanted.

A picture of him during a courtroom appearance:

He was later deemed incompetent to stand trial by a Nevada judge, and was ordered to attend counseling in order to treat his mental health problem. My prediction? He goes off of his meds and smokes Cris Angel. I could be wrong though.

Next Profile: Eddie Griffin

Who wants to see a one legged woman dance?

You: OH, OH, I DO ,I DO

Me: So do I, friend.... so do I...

Well we now have our chance.. Ladies and Gents, the new roster of Dancing with the Stars:

1. Heather Mills

2. Apolo Anton Ohno

3. Laila Ali

4. Clyde "The Glide" Drexler

5. Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore

6. Billy Ray Cyrus

7. Joey Fatone

8. Leeza Gibbons

9. Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering)

10 & 11 Miss USA and some Model.

Who will be served?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Longing for the glory days of A Tribe Called Quest?

Maybe you're not...
But I miss what rap music used to be (so humor me with this one if you could care less).

And then I came across these guys:

Little Brother

Apparently they've been out for about 5 years. I've only discovered them in the past 6 months or so (thru the invaluable site I threw in our links). Although I don't read the Source, I don't live under a total rock when it comes to what's out. It's too bad all of these shitty, commercially driven "artists" are pushed down our throats these days, hiding what's good out there. Not sure how I didn't find them sooner, but now that I have, I feel obligated to share them with the public, whether or not they want to hear it.
I won't bore you in details about why they're good/refreshing, etc. Put their recently released "free" mixtape" in your I-Pod and find out fo' yo' self.

Your Run of the Mill Anorexic Cross Dressing Polio Stricken Tap Dancer

Nothing unusual here at all:

Answer the Bell- 3 Tyson Knockouts

All less than 45 seconds each....if weren't for his love of all things rape, Tyson could have silenced all of the critics who claim he wasn't one of the top 3 heavyweights of all time.

Tyson v. Marvis Fraiser (Joe's Son):

Tyson v. Lou Savarese:

Tyson v. Robert Colay:

Pancakes....Glorious Pancakes!!

Tomorrow, if you go to any IHOP, you can get a free short stack of pancakes. The best kind of food is of course, free food. (They request that you make a small donation to a charity in lieu of paying for their pancakes. I request that they stop making such ridiculous requests and just serve me my flapjacks with the quickness.)

Here is the IHOP location search link.

Sunday, February 18, 2007