Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Barroid Bonds and the Asterisk

When Kurt Vonnegut passed last month, we were reminded of the asshole asterisk.

Then the thought came to tie that asshole asterisk to sports.

Let's see... Who's the biggest asshole in sports, this side of TO? Whose records are tainted beyond a shadow of a doubt?

No, not Roger Clemens. Although he's definitely working on it.

Barry Bonds of course.

So, here's my attempt to permanently defame his name:

Please read and sign this petition to allow asterisks in the baseball record books and to have one placed next to Bonds and the other known 'roiders names in the books.

Sure it's an online petition and may not carry too much value... but when we get a nice little chain going, we'll print it up and bring it to good ol' Bud Selig's office on Park Ave and YouTube the video of the delivery.

Bud seems like a man of upstanding character. A real man of the people. I'm sure he'll do whatever's in his power to right this wrong for the sanctity of the game.

Now let's get cracking with the signatures, this bastard only has 12 more HGH fueled homers to go before he breaks the honorable Hank Aaron's record.


Young James said...

Shit, make that 11 more home runs to go before he breaks the record.

M. Van Buren said...

It would be hysterical if the petition took off and it really did get on YouTube.

Young James said...

Well let's get some grassroots politicin' going and bring the hysterics then.

M. Van Buren said...

Umm.....am I the only one who signed this thing? Our grassroots movement isn't getting past the grass seed stage.

Young James said...

Since I wrote the thing it already had my name on it so I felt odd signing it. There's no excuses for any of you other bums though. How can we expect Bud Selig to respond if it only has 1 signature?