Inappropriate Emails on Inappropriate Hugs

The offensive line coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers is currently in trouble for sending some "inappropriate emails" to a plethora of NFL employees, including the head honcho Roger Goodell. Whoops.

Come on though, I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Who hasn't sent pornographic emails to the NFL Commissioner? I know I regularly send him as much smut as I can on a regular basis.

I guess I just don't understand the culture of NFL management.

Time Is Going Really Really Really Really Slow

Not a sports story per se, but still funny:

What, me worry?

Last night the Yankees let the league know that they're really not concerned with their awful start be sending out rookie Alfred E. Neuman to the mound. And what do you know, the ugly freckle and pimple faced punk (going by the assumed name Tyler Clippard) got the job done in a big spot as the Yankees beat the Mets 6-2 to salvage a win in the 3 game series.

As a Mets fan, this series didn't leave me feeling too proud in spite of winning 2 of 3. The team looked very flat last night and they nearly blew a big lead on Saturday. If Cano wasn't so awful at 2nd, and if a couple pitches were called balls instead of strikes, the Mets could have been swept. That's not the way you want to perform against a struggling lineup with a beat up rotation and over-taxed bullpen.

Now the Mets go to Atlanta where they need to make up for some losses earlier in the year and the Yankees face Boston in what's kind of a big series for them. If they can't get it going with Wang, Mussina, and Petitte throwing, this could be the end for Torre.

Giambi: All of baseball should apologize for steroids, revere Bonds...

In today's USA Today (you can find a trampled over copy at the doorstep of any hotel room across this great country), Yankees DH Jason Giambi gives some contradictory statements about steroids:

"We should have apologized back then and made sure we had a rule in place and gone forward. … Steroids and all of that was a part of history. But it was a topic that everybody wanted to avoid. Nobody wanted to talk about it."

When asked, "So why did you take steroids?" Giambi said: "Maybe one day I'll talk about it, but not now."

Well shit Jason... Nobody wanted to talk about steroids, and here's brave little ol' you talking about steroids but not answering questions about them. Are you waiting until your playing days are over to bust out a juicy (pun-intended) novella about your steroid use and how your idol Mark McBeef initiated you into the scene? Yeah, you probably shouldn't say too much just yet... Maybe one day though... Asshole.

He further goes on to say:

"That stuff didn't help me hit home runs. I don't care what people say, nothing is going to give you that gift of hitting a baseball."

Hmmm... While you can obviously hit a baseball without the aid of steroids, it is odd that your slugging percentage has come down .100 points since your heyday in a pitcher friendly Oakland park after moving to left hand hitter friendly Yankee Stadium. And I'm pretty sure scientists, doctors, etc. have proven that steroid use will increase strength which should help to hit the ball further (with other side effects of course).

In support of Barroid:

"Barry is one of the greatest players, if not the greatest, I'll ever see play," says Giambi, who has hit 355 career home runs. "I know people have a tough time accepting it, but what he's doing is unbelievable. And I don't care what people say — nothing is going to give you that gift of hitting a baseball.

"Barry is like the great white shark," Giambi says, "the greatest killing machine on the planet. All it does is swim and eat.
"If you sit from afar, and look at him, that's Barry.
"Barry's motivation is to be the best baseball player this game has ever seen. And if you're in his way, he'll tell you, 'You better get (out of the way), you're ruining my mojo.' "

Who cares Bonds did/does steroids? Look at the fucking havoc he's causing. Big shit, he broke the rules, used illegal substances. Look at the fucking power he has. C'mon. Stop fucking with his mojo.

Jason Giambi... Dumber than a bag of hammers. Enjoy sitting on the bench at Shea and watching your team get stomped, asshole.

What the fuck are you drinking there anyway? Does Red Bull make you a special brew of just taurine? Do they throw bulls testicles in a blender, put it on chop and pour it into a bottle just for you? That's just nasty man.

By the way readers, keep on signing the Bonds asterisk petition. It's doubled in signatures thanks to people like you!

Hey Soulja Boi You Ain't Ready For War

Just checked out Metsblog.com and saw this story...

Oh boy... Looks like when Mets "prospect" Lastings Milledge isn't working hard to fulfill his potential as a baseball player, he's working hard as CEO/Rapper for Soulja Boi Records.

Yes, that's Lastings on the right, with his star in the making, Manny D on the left. And Lastings can be heard but not understood at his site rapping about diamonds and different ho's every night along with Manny D on "Bend Ya Knees".

Somehow, I don't see this working out too well for him with the Mets and the image they're currently portraying.

Guess we won't be able to get Dontrelle for him anytime soon. Too bad. At least it's a fun sideshow.

Get your Complimentary Whatifsports.com SimLeague Football Team On…

I came across a promotional code for the whatifsports SimLeague Football game…
Looks like they’re trying to get some interest in the game during the football off season.

If you’re not already a whatifsports user, when you get to the whatifsports homepage enter in the following promotional code towards the bottom left side of the screen: FXSLF7

If you’re already a member, enter the code by going to the WIS tab at the top of the screen and selecting Promotional Code.

If you’re becoming a new member, please enter the website thru the links found here so we get our rightful props for new recruits.

The Promo Code must be used before May 31, so the clocks ticking. And there’s no telling when they’ll nullify the code since I’m flaunting it at such a popular site here. Get in there and do it…

Now that you know how to get the free game, here’s how I would like it to be used:

I’ve put together a Football theme league that I’d like to fill amongst our friends, family, and readers…
Most theme leagues consist of ideas such as: Team must be made up of guys from the same college, only players in the 1990’s, no Cowboys allowed, and so on…
My theme league is this: You can only have Black Quarterbacks on your team, with no 2 teams having the same guy as their starting QB. Also, you cannot spend more than $24 million on your team defense (a strong d makes for a boring game). Team salary caps will be the "standard” $60 million. It will be a league recommended for newbies only, but there’s no way I can really prevent non-newbies from joining once the league goes public if it's not filled in a week. Black quarterbacks and average to bad defenses? Sounds like fun, right?

I scoured the annals of the NFL and the whatifsports QB database and came up with the following list of black quarterbacks that need to be used in this theme league (listed in highest salary order):

Daunte Culpepper - (eligible as backup for 2005-06)
Young Randall Cunningham (1986-97) (eligible as backup for 1985, 1993, 1995, 1997)
Warren Moon - (eligible as backup for 2000)
Donovon McNabb – (eligible as backup for 1999)
Mike Vick - (eligible as backup for 2001, 2003)
Young Steve McNair (1995-2002) – (eligible as backup for 1995)
Aaron Brooks - (eligible as backup for 2000, 2006)
Old Randall Cunningham (1998-2001) (eligible as backup for 1999, 2000, 2001)
Doug Williams - (eligible as backup for 1987, 1989)
Jeff Blake - (eligible as backup for 1998)
Kordell Stewart - (eligible as backup for 1995-96, 2002)
Old Steve McNair (2003-06) – (eligible as backup for 2004)
Byron Leftwich – (eligible as backup for 2006)
Tony Banks - (eligible as backup for 2003-04)
Quincy Carter – (eligible as backup for 2001-02, 2004)
James Harris – (eligible as backup for 1969-73, 1978-79)
Rodney Peete - (eligible as backup for 1989, 1991, 1994, 1996-98)
Shaun King - (eligible as backup for 1999, 2001)
Vince Evans - (eligible as backup for 1979, 1982, 1983, 1991-95)
Charlie Batch - (eligible as backup for 2003-2006)
Marlin Briscoe
VinceYoung
Joe Gilliam - (eligible as backup for 1973, 1975)
David Garrard - (eligible as backup for 2002-05)

List of Full-time Backups:
Anthony Wright
Jason Campbell
Andre Ware
Dave Mays
Cleo Lemon
John Jones
John Walton
Parnell Dickinson
Carlos Brown
Reggie Collier
Jarious Jackson
Senneca Wallace
Tarvaris Jackson
*edit: also Ray Lucas (duh, thanks for the reminder Big Nasty)
**edit: and Dameyune Craig (didn't know him, thanks Jackmann from Shaun's Kings)
This article was very helpful in putting together the list.

Since 24 teams are needed to fill a theme league, I had to make an old McNair and an old Cunningham since sadly there were not enough different black starting quarterbacks in NFL history. While you can’t have the same starting QB as another team, you can have the same backup(s).

If you feel my list is erroneous, please comment to add/delete anyone…

I had to make my roster in order to set the league up. To be fair, I picked the quarterback that was the worst of the bunch based on salary. As such, I ended up with David Garrard.

The list of quarterbacks left to be picked will be updated in the comments sections here as the league gets filled. The league will be open to the public, so let’s make sure we represent, and represent quickly.

Winning team gets a free copy of my Fear of a Black Planet cassette tape by Public Enemy.

To get into this fantastic league, after signing in at whatifsports, click on the Sim Leagues tab and click on the Draft Center link with the type “Full”. Then select the “Existing League” button and enter in league number NFL14418 and click on Draft Team. Check the list of available quarterbacks in the comments section before picking your starter, don’t spend over $24 mil on your defense and pick whoever you want from then on… Have fun, and spread word to your friends to join the league to fill it up. The sooner it’s filled, the sooner we get the games on.

JJ Hardy Boy Mystery

After watching young JJ, who entered the season having 14 career homeruns, slug his 10th and 11th home runs of the year on consecutive days at Shea Stadium, I have begun to get suspicous of his early results.

I've got such a raging clue as to what might be going on.

This has shades of Kevin Elster hitting out 24 in 96' playing with Juan Gone, I-Rod, and the rest of the Rangers.

I know he's been injured earlier in his career, but this is too inordinate. Somebody make this faggot pee in a cup please.

(This post might just be me being jealous for not picking him off the waiver wire in any fantasy baseball league, but fuck it).

Barroid Bonds and the Asterisk

When Kurt Vonnegut passed last month, we were reminded of the asshole asterisk.

Then the thought came to tie that asshole asterisk to sports.

Let's see... Who's the biggest asshole in sports, this side of TO? Whose records are tainted beyond a shadow of a doubt?

No, not Roger Clemens. Although he's definitely working on it.

Barry Bonds of course.

So, here's my attempt to permanently defame his name:

Please read and sign this petition to allow asterisks in the baseball record books and to have one placed next to Bonds and the other known 'roiders names in the books.

Sure it's an online petition and may not carry too much value... but when we get a nice little chain going, we'll print it up and bring it to good ol' Bud Selig's office on Park Ave and YouTube the video of the delivery.

Bud seems like a man of upstanding character. A real man of the people. I'm sure he'll do whatever's in his power to right this wrong for the sanctity of the game.

Now let's get cracking with the signatures, this bastard only has 12 more HGH fueled homers to go before he breaks the honorable Hank Aaron's record.

HOttest POLE VAULTER EVER!!!!

OMG!! I LOVE HER!!! more pics at http://www.withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2811

RIP Diego Corrales

Former Lightweight Champion Diego Corrales was killed in a motorcycle accident last night at the age of 29. For the non-boxing fans here, to get an idea of just how great Chico was in the ring, just check him out in the final round of his epic fight with Jose Luis Castillo, which happened exactly two years before his death. I had posted this same clip back in February when this site first started, and I can still say with confidence that this was the best boxing match I have ever seen.

Unbelievable.

William Clemens Set to Return to the Yankees

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Clemens signed with the Yankees for a pro-rated salary of $28 million for a single season. (The $28 million is the highest salary for a single season ever, $1 million more than A-Rod's gaudy salary, which I'm sure was just an arbitrary number and had nothing to do with just solidifying his position as one of the greatest pitchers of all time.) We all knew he was going to sign with one of three teams, so nothing too surprising there. (The surprise announcement was pretty interesting/cheesy, but it was in line with Clemens love of all things Roger.)

But do you want to know what actually was shocking about all of this? I went to Roger's Wikipedia page this morning just to do a little research for a possible post, and I discovered a weird little fact about Roger......his name isn't Roger.

William Roger Clemens is his actual name. This isn't that unusual, because many people will assume their middle name for their day to day life, but usually because their first name is "Alastair" or something like that....not because it is "William."

So there, this is my contribution to the Clemens fever that is about to sweep the NYC area. It is pointless and obscure, but make sure you correct anybody that you talk to this season that refers to him as "Roger". "Nuh uh, his name is William, I learned that from Inappropriate Hugs."

!!And the Lights Go Out on Broadway!!

The New York rangers Quest has officially ended at the hands of the the Buffalo Sabres in 6 Games. There are no complaints coming from me about this year and the adversity that this team overcame to just get into the playoffs. The stretch run that started at Christmas was one of the bests runs a team has had ever in NHL history. Hockey is back in New York officially. The Rangers gave it all in probably one of the best series played at the garden in a long time. These teams were more evenly matched then what most expected. Even Lindy Ruff (Buffalo Head Coach) was quoted as saying that Rangers scared him and his (heavily favored Stanley Cup Final) team. The future is looking bright on Broadway and the countdown has begun till next season. Five months and counting, not six months(like years past), but five till opening night. The rookies will be there!
And I hope more will join bandwagon and the Shanny/Jagr goodbye tour that will occur.

Thank you New York Rangers for the fight and the heart that you all showed. I'm going to ask all that read this to please tune in and watch the rest of the post-season and the quest to the ultimate trophy in sports. Hockey needs support and will once again get back to the stature that it once held. These veins bleed blue for Life!

His arm better be falling off

Carl Pavano is scheduling a visit to see the esteemed Dr James Andrews. All I am going to say is his forearm better be ripped from the bone. If it isn't, Carl Pavano is the biggest pussy ever. Your telling me he can't pitch because of "grabbing" in his forearm? Hey Carl, pitchers pitch hurt all the time. You are not going to be 100% all season. Stop being such a puss and get the fuck out there when your team needs you. If the Yankees felt that this injury was serious, don't you think he would have been on the first plane to Alabama after the game where he went 7 innings, letting up 2 runs on 6 hits against the Twins (not to bad for someone with "grabbing' of the forearm)? So for Carls sake, I hope the good Dr. James schedules his forearm reattachment surgery for early next week.

Going From Bad to Worse

This is getting ridiculous. The Yankees have already been struggling with their starting pitching due to the calvacade of injuries that has been decimating the staff. The hitlist includes their #1, #2, #5 and #6 starters: Wang (Hamstring), Mussina (Hamstring), Karstens (Broken Leg) and Pavano (Forearm).

So they call up the Golden Boy Phillip Hughes last week, and after a decent performance last week, he completely dominated last night in Texas. He went for 6.1 innings, giving up no hits, and striking out six batters......and he is now out for 4-6 weeks with a hamstring injury. Ugh.

I hear Cashman is now in the market for a jacked knuckleballer with some big league experience who can help right this sinking ship:

You Warriors are good. Real good.

I can’t say that I’ve watched a minute of them play all year (playoffs included). Thanks to the Knicks, I have completely rejected watching much of any Fantastic NBA Action this year. Tonight however (after I get back from my first Mets game of the year), I will definitely be checking out Game 5 of the Warriors and the Mavs.

Anytime a #8 seed is about to take out a #1 it becomes must see TV for me. The Mavs were 67-15 (tied for the 6th best record in league history) while the Warriors (42-40) just beat out the Clippers to get into the playoffs for the first time since Chris Webber was a rookie playing with Latrell in 1994. Should the Warriors win tonight (or in the “if necessary” games 6 & 7), they will become the first 8 seed to defeat a top seed since the NBA moved to the best of 7 format in 2003.

Of course, only 2 other #8 seeds have defeated top seeds before, and each of those featured defining moments.

The first time, in 1994, the Nuggets fought back from down 0-2 in the series to defeat the Sonics in OT in game 5. When the buzzer sounded Mutombo hilariously rolled around on the floor fondling the basketball while shrieking.

The second time, after the lockout shortened 1999 season, the Knicks advanced when Allan Houston’s clutch runner took a couple bounces and fell in with little time left. I nearly fell through the floor of my apartment from the post-shot celebration.
So far, this Mavs-Warriors series seems defined by Dirk’s inability to act like a superstar/MVP, the explosion of Baron Davis, and the Don Nelson love-fest. I would like to see someone please step up to get that “defining moment” of this series nailed down. Stephen Jackson, I’m looking at you.

And as a Knicks fan, the news isn’t all bad. I was informed by the Knicks through e-mail of their most glorious achievement during the playoffs. Yup, Knicks City Dancer “Asia” won the contest to become the next Pussycat Doll. Check out all the details as it’s the headline on their fucking homepage. Unless they have a promotional “Free Pussy” night, I’m not going to another game until this team makes some major changes (like, I don’t know, get rid of half the roster and all of their management and coaching staff).

Anyway... Go Warriors.