The Landlord

Um... Marcus Vick's not taking Spring Classes, right?

Too soon probably?

The I.O.C. just announced the new Olymipc Sport that will be introduced at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, replacing Baseball and Softball.

All of America's college students and fraternity members have been drowning themselves in beer at pandemic proportions since the International Olympic Committee has announced that they will be finally replacing baseball and softball with Men's, Women's, and Mixed Beirut (Also called Beer Pong). The U.S. team will begin holding tryouts at the beginning of July and will hopefully find the best 10 Beer Pongers in the country to represent the U.S. in the Summer Olympics in Beijing in 2008. Tryouts will begin with U.S. Olympic committee evaluators visiting select college campuses throughout the country to determine who the best of the best actually are. The U.S. Olympic committee hopes to have a team ready for training by February 2008. Training most likely will be done in the Denver area due to its high altitude, which should help benefit the teams stamina. The I.O.C. has approved the use of Beijing Beer (Beijing Pijiu) as the official beer of the competition after numerous false reports that such a beer was made with formaldehyde to lock in the flavor. Extensive testing on Beijing Pijiu by BALCO labs in San Francisco has deemed that rumor as false. OH the memories of beer pong, especially strip beer pong with the ladies. Now those were the days!

Press Conference Reveals David Ortiz Clearly Doesn't Know Who Jackie Robinson Is

COME HUG DA PAPI!!!!

Via The Onion:

BOSTON—David Ortiz's halting, stammered response to a question regarding baseball legend Jackie Robinson directed to him in a clubhouse press conference Tuesday demonstrated that the designated hitter clearly has no idea who Robinson was or what he was talking about. "Oh, yeah, I know that guy. We played ball together, you know, couple years, when we were both younger. How's he doing, anyway?" Ortiz said, dismissively, eliciting puzzled murmurs from the assembled reporters. "Jack played some good ball. Man was always a lot of fun to be around." When reporters attempted to bail Ortiz out by asking leading questions concerning the many barriers Robinson broke, Ortiz responded by saying he had heard the news, that he certainly hoped Robinson would be okay, and that Jackie should not have been driving drunk in the first place.

Lost a Great One Yesterday...

I'm not a big reader. In fact, I'm a pretty small reader. I watch too much tv and spend too much time on the computer to get into books much.
But one guy who I am an avid reader of is Kurt Vonnegut.
He died yesterday at age 84.
His writing was usually very unique and entertaining. He lived a pretty full life and his writing involved what he had been thru. I always admired his honesty and ability to get his point across, even if it was that we're all fucked in one way or another.
Anyway, here's my own personal favorites of his work: God Bless You Mr. Rosewater, Breakfast of Champions, Bluebeard, and Hocus Pocus. Whether or not your into books or not, you can't go wrong with any of them...

RIP

Update - Here's a link to a clip provided by MVB of Vonnegut on the Daily Show from a couple of years ago.

Move over Randy Marsh and Kramer...

Looks like there's a new Sheriff in town...

Kind of a touchy subject here...

Anyway, here's the transcript from the Imus in the Morning show last week and some unasked for opinion on the subject:

IMUS: So, I watched the basketball game last night between -- a little bit of Rutgers and Tennessee, the women's final.
ROSENBERG: Yeah, Tennessee won last night -- seventh championship for [Tennessee coach] Pat Summitt, I-Man. They beat Rutgers by 13 points.
IMUS: That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and --
McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.
IMUS: That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.
McGUIRK: A Spike Lee thing.
IMUS: Yeah.
McGUIRK: The Jigaboos vs. the Wannabes -- that movie that he had.
IMUS: Yeah, it was a tough --
McCORD: Do The Right Thing.
McGUIRK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
IMUS: I don't know if I'd have wanted to beat Rutgers or not, but they did, right?
ROSENBERG: It was a tough watch. The more I look at Rutgers, they look exactly like the Toronto Raptors.
IMUS: Well, I guess, yeah.
RUFFINO: Only tougher.
McGUIRK: The [Memphis] Grizzlies would be more appropriate.

Unasked for opinion:

White people in a public forum really need to be more careful about the way they insult Black people. While it's true that Blacks have made inappropriate comments towards others (such as the waaay fucked up Tsunami Song from the Hot 97 morning show a few years back), it comes off very differently when Whites say it about Blacks (given the history of this country).

And if they are going to make jokes, it damn sure better be funny. This wasn't funny, just typical shock-jock shit, and it's unfortunate that it's blown up the way it has because now there's victims. The lives of the girls on that Rutgers team are never going to be the same. They've been branded as nappy headed ho's. And the American public gets more Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson in their lives. Regardless of the penalty, Imus is cooked, and his crew should go down with him, cause they're comments were just as stupid.

I obviously didn't watch the game, but I scanned through some pics... I didn't see nappy hair at all, and only one of the players had a tattoo and looked thuggish. So not only was it not funny, it wasn't true. But I guess most girls wouldn't look too good up against Candace Parker on Tennessee. 6 feet 4 inches of Caramel Dunking Bliss is what she is...

To play it safe, no one should talk about Women's Basketball ever again.

Bikerfox Supports the Troops

He truly is America's finest athlete.

Bugatti Veyron.....Better than my 1997 Saturn

1001 Horsepower, 16 Cylinders, 253 mph top speed......this car is just ridiculous:

Conflicting Feelings About New Jack

Video is NSFW-ish because of some language, but the images are completely Kosher. (Kosher reference was made in honor of our massive Jewish audience. Shalom.)

At first this video is going to make you feel bad for New Jack because of the apparently permanent damage that his eye has suffered due to a fall he took in one match. You will say to yourself, "Self, do you really need to have grown men risk their lives in order to entertain you? Can't you just find a less barbaric way of amusing yourself?"

Then New Jack talks about how he tried to kill the guy that injured him and you again have a little conversation with yourself. "Self, are you nuts?? Are you going to miss an opportunity to actually see New Jack kill somebody because you feel bad for them? Get yo' ass back in front of that TV and watch!!"

Shawn Kemp is the Father!!!

*****EXCLUSIVE*****EXCLUSIVE*****EXCLUSIVE*****EXCLUSIVE*****

Inappropriate Hugs has received word from an insider in the Bahamas that NBA star Shawn Kemp will be adding yet another child to his already prodigious group of offspring. After being tracked down by the crack staff of the Maury Povich show and forced to undergo a DNA test, Kemp has now been confirmed as the father of little Dannielynn.

Inappropriate Hugs has obtained this exclusive photograph of Kemp and Anna Nicole on a romantic vacation that was taken approximately 11 months before the birth of the baby. (Kemp has reportedly trained his highly potent sperm to just "hang out" for a couple of months inside of his many female conquests before going for the fertilization in order to acquire the greatest number of children possible while still maintaining the ability to deny that he was the father.)

Larry "Grandma-Ma" Johnson apparently was seen wiping his brow and exclaiming, "WHEW!!" when he learned he wasn't the baby daddy.

Q. What could make Joe "Monkey" Morgan proclaim, "Oh no!"

A. A rally-killing, inning-ending double play turned by the Mets off a great diving stop by the 'Stache.

It's good to have baseball back as the Mets began making up for Game 7 of last year with a 6-1 road victory over the Cardinals to begin the 2007 season. After carving up Carpenter in the opener, the Mets face Kip Wells and Braden Looper in the final 2 games of the series Tuesday and Wednesday. In related news, I might pick up a broom tomorrow.

Here's hoping Glavine gets involved in some pitching duels that yield no decisions in the next few months. I have a feeling once he gets his 300 Wins, he's coasting... I hope I'm wrong.

I know what I am doing on Oct 16

Grand Theft Auto 4

Your Kick in the Nuts Man of March

Las year he was named "The Successor" now he is getting a divorce, got caught for a DUI and he lost his job. Ladies and Gentlemen here is your Kick in the Nuts Man for the month of March... Steve Swindal!

Rambo Part IV- Blood Transfusion

Hot on the heels of his steroid and HGH fueled performance in Rocky Balboa, Sly Stallone is currently filming a new sequel to the Rambo Franchise, 20 years after the last installment. To help him pull of the illusion that a 60 year old Vietnam Vet would still be physically capable of taking down an entire division of evil Burmese soldiers, Stallone has hired a 30 year old body double to do most of the stunts for him in the movie.

Stallone will perform his own grunts, screams and other gutteral sounds though, so there will be some authentic parts to this farce of a film.

(Editor's Note- I am 27 years old, and there isn't a sliver of a doubt in my mind that Stallone could physically pummell me to death and is in ten times better shape than I am in. However, I have almost $100,000 in student loans, and that is one thing I'll always have that Mr. Jennifer Flavin will never have. So up yours Sly, I win.)

My Black Friend